Christmas at Starbucks

It’s November and that means it’s Christmas at Starbucks.

We are now subjected to the aromas of Toffee Nut Lattes (made from the fabled toffee nut tree found far into the North Pole) and Gingerbread syrup (made from corn) in our beverages. They have a two foot tall pine tree, with shiny gold balls, on top of a red tablecloth, which is slightly askew. There are Christmas themed mugs underneath decorated with snow, stars, gifts and possibly a polar bear. The baristas are restocking the reusable mug shelf so you can be seasonally appropriate for a single month of the year, and you look silly the rest of the time when you feel you should keep using that mug you bought just before Thanksgiving even though it’s out of season because you like it and everyone else can get their own mug.

They pretend it’s “winter” or “holiday season,” but it’s really just Christmas. Everywhere. Even in Turkey where the country is 90% Muslim. Even on tropical islands where most of the people have never seen snow that wasn’t on TV or in a film. Even in China, and they don’t even like America or capitalism. Syria and North Korea are a bit behind on the Starbucks thing, but one day, they’ll have Christmas themed lattes with whipped cream with cinnamon drizzled on top too.

Personally, it feels a bit strange to wear shorts and sweat in the humidity whilst sipping a “Tall Hot Soy Gingerbread Latte,” but it might be stranger if you got it iced. It’s not Christmas if it isn’t hot.

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